… and you won’t

I went to a Nine Inch Nails concert with some friends.
This is not what this post is about.

Among the audience was a girl. She was sitting a few rows ahead of us, wearing an orange T-shirt with the words AND YOU WON’T printed in white caps on the back. See diagram.

and you won't

Naturally, our curiosity was picked. What won’t we do? Is it us, personally? Is it humanity as a whole? Obviously, this lady was making some sort of statement, but, from where we stood, it was impossible to tell what it was.

We tried stretching this way and that to get a better look but to no avail. Inconspicuously (like a doormat), I circled to the front of the stands, only to end up too far away to be able to see (like a girlfriend who lives across the country).
Soon, we were obsessed! All our minds could think of were possible lines for the front of that shirt.

I’m gonna eat some brownies…

I’m going to have a liver transplant!

You’ll promise to love me forever…

I will tell you to take out the trash…

I will try to turn you into a frog…

I will marry the love of my life…

Your mother will warn you not to talk to strangers…

You will want to find out what’s written on the front of this shirt…

Our guesses were becoming self-referential! Things were getting out of hand!

In a last, desperate, attempt to get her to turn our way, we started yelling out female names. “Maria!” “Helen!” “Petunia!”.

Nothing worked. She might be foreign.

Suddenly, a friend of hers arrived! As she turned to greet him, I managed to catch a brief glimpse of the last letter on the front side. An M! This forced us to revise:

I’m going to eat some ice cream…

I’m going to have a liver transplant… mom!

I will try to turn you into a frog by saying ‘Alakazam!’

You promised to love me forever, mom…

I am Sam.

In the end, as you might have expected, we were disappointed.

4 Responses to “… and you won’t”

  1. João Pereira Says:

    Oh c’mon! What was it? 😀

  2. Logo Mats Says:

    Great blog you have here, found it searching for something else, will check back soon.

  3. Sukeile Says:

    Did you find out?

  4. Carla Abellana Says:

    man! The suspense killed me! Wonder what that print is?